Goodbye July

Hi folks,

Well, July is almost over. It seems like just yesterday it was June 21st and we were all happy that summer had finally arrived. Now it's a less than a week until the end of the month. Where did it go? I have absolutely no idea. Perhaps my non-existent memory of the past four weeks is due to the fact that I'm not as young as I used to be, but I'd like to think not. It's probably because I've been extremely busy with work and school, researching and writing an essay, studying for tests and rehearsing scenes, all the while going to what seems like a neverending string of meetings at my day job. In the midst of this I am trying to be there for my dearest friend, who is now facing the heartwrenching and imminent loss of one of his parents. One day his dad's forgetfulness seems to be just the inevitable result of aging, the next it's a diagnosis of an inoperable malignant brain tumor. It is breaking my heart to see his heart breaking. Cancer is sooo evil. I pray that the day will come when we shall be rid of it, but I must admit that my hopes aren't high. With so much hatred and hostility out there, it seems unlikely that that will happen. I say that because I don't think it's as simple as a great medical breakthrough. I honestly believe that all negative energy is interwoven. The overabundance of it on this planet has to find places to take root and to fester - why not in us? And so, good people are ravaged by diseases, are riddled with bullets on the street, burn in ill-fated downed planes and emaciate themselves into walking skeletons. It's like the bodies of the innocent become pods, hosts for all of the darkness in the world. It is searing.

Still, there are rays of light that find their way through, bright beams of it. There is family and friends and love and passion. I am thankful for those things. Despite the work, the love I feel for school right now has been a blessing. I just finished yet another semester in my Theatre program, and it was by far the scariest and most challenging work I've done. The last time I wrote I mentioned that I was going to be playing a woman with severe cerebral palsy and a penchant for bad words. Well I did it, and it was absolutely exhausting but SO enriching too. There are few things that'll challenge your inhibitions like having to throw yourself on the floor and writhe around in front of an audience spewing objectionables while implying that half of your body is paralyzed. Oh and by the way, my character, Scarlett, is murdered at the end! Yikes. It was intense. At the end of our final presentation last Thursday I had a tear-stained face and could barely move, but it felt great. Scarlett has been a focus of mine for months and it feels strange now to not be spending some time with her on a daily basis. But I'll be back in Scene Study in the fall and soon enough I'll be steeped in someone new, so I'm fine with spending some time just being Tanisha for now.

If you still have not seen the film Once, you must. It is simple and touching and inspiring and sweet and pretty close to perfect.

I told you in the last newsletter that I had started writing a new record. It continues, although I haven't had the time to be nearly as consumed by it as I normally would be. Now that my class is done, I will be having more rendez - (hey, what is the plural of "rendezvous"???) with the keys. I am thinking of making a sparse and stripped-down album before another fully-produced one... an acoustic jaunt... still ruminating on that one. An old pal of mine from the Harris Institute wrote me a while back and said he'd been thinking of me and wanted to hear me sing some jazz alongside his playing.... ooooh. Something else to ponder with a mix of intrigue and trepidation, not unlike most of the things I ponder. =) Every vocalist has a million singers that he or she would love to channel sometimes. Yes oh Lordy yes it would be wicked to make sounds like Sarah Vaughan, but there is just as big a part of me that would kill to sing like Sarah Brightman. From earthy to angelic - voices are so different and so beautiful in their distinctiveness. Every heart speaking with its own pitch and timbre and tone... I love that.

I am eight weeks away from what will be my first show in 18 months, and I can't believe it's been so long. That's the longest period of time that I've been away from performing my own music in 9 years. So much has happened in the interim and it all continues to mold me, so I'm pretty sure that I won't be the same gal onstage on September 22nd that I was last time around. It will also be my first time playing myself in ages! I am really, really looking forward to it. Now if only I could nail the band down...

Awaiting August, Tanisha